The Immaterial Dragonoid is made of fluffy puffs of ether.
He floats in the clouds, cursing the day he died.
His body is gone, now he is a ghost.
The very thought of it revolts him.

(penciled by Benjamin, inked by Bertrand)

Tusk is his dentist's favorite patient.
Whenever he has a cavity to be fixed, it costs him an arm and a leg.
Brush your teeth every day, Tusk!
And don't forget to floss with a lasso.

The Tremendous Brain is being of pure logic.
He has no emotions.
If you step on his foot, he looks at you and says, "That hurt."
But he doesn't get angry.

(penciled by Bertrand and inked by Benjamin)

Pinosaur likes to sleep in late on weekends.
He doesn't like to terrorize anyone before he has his third cup of coffee.
Oh, and he needs to eat a few toasts and drink a glass of orange juice as well.
Also he never forgets to take his vitamins.
It takes fuel to face the day and be bad.

Blue in the Face has a difficult personality.
He yells a lot when people don't do exactly what he wants them to.
"It's my way, or the highway!"
Seems there are a lot more people traveling these days!
(original drawing by Bertrand, traced and colored by Benjamin)

Just when you've fallen in love with Shapely Vixen...
And firmly believe she is heavenly...
She bonks you on the her club.
Ouch!
Still, you continue loving her...

Strange Alien never speaks a word.
Strange Alien moves quietly.
He slowly sneaks up on you...
And then, BAM!

Gargantuor is learning how to count.
Seven plus two is...
Five?
No, Gargantuor.
Six?
No seven is more than six, Gargantuor.
We'll try it again tomorrow.
... And maybe after tomorrow as well.
Sigh.

The head on a whip is bounced around by the evil alien.
"Ouch!" it yells. "Ow, that hurts!"
But the alien will not stop.
It enjoys whacking the head against a wall.
Soon the wall begins to move, inch by inch.

(penciled by Benjamin, inked by Bertrand)

The Three Brothers From Snark
All became crooks on a lark
But their bite was not as bad as their bark
And when in the middle of night they headed off to the park
They tried to mug a tree in the dark

Harry cannot stop hiccuping,
No matter what he tries.
It makes him quite cross...
But he has tried everything he can think of.
Drinking a glass of water his head upside down,
Tickling the roof of his mouth with his tongue,
nothing seems to work.
Hic!
Hic!
Harry is an unhappy demon.

I am Izbut and I like the seashore in Maine in July.
The sun shines, there are exotic shells on the beach, the smell of the ocean is wonderful and the sound of the crashing of the waves soothes the soul.
Scantily clad earthly females jog on the edge of the surf.
I like to catch and eat the fat ones.

Bread Squeezer is a monster with the annoying habit of squeezing loaves of bread at the supermarket.
He squeezes several, but only buys one.
Then he leaves the other loaves all scrunched up for the other customers.
Bread Squeezer only thinks of himself.

Disintegrated Man was zapped by a laser beam.
His atoms were dissociated but his aura is still floating around.
He ponders his state of being in absolute silence...
One day he hopes to return for revenge!

Grinning Fool is happy-go-lucky,
Without a care in the world,
Carefree and fancy-free.
He gives everyone who passes by,
A very silly smile indeed.
He's been like that ever since he made a fortune
By acting in TV commercials.

Crapulus would like to dance the Blue Danube waltz over the fire pits of hell, but he has no partner.
All the she-devils say he has bad brimstone breath.
Otherwise he's a really nice demon, they all agree.
Unfortunately, being nice gets you demoted down below.

Abe is a stern monster, he always looks like he's scowling.
Maybe he's too serious.
Or maybe he's angry, it's hard to tell.

Mitridatus, the colossus was big! Huge! Ginormous even!
He was so tall, people's necks hurt looking up!
He was so big, when he flexed his biceps it cause a wind storm!
When he walked, the ground shook and cable internet went out!

Klamm Tchow-Dorr the Conqueror's spaceship approached the unsuspecting planet.
The Evil One sat in the command center, observing the viewscreen.
"Prepare the antigrav weapons!" he ordered.
No one answered him, he was all alone.
The crew had gone off on a coffee break.

Brutorr is a strong monster.
He is ten feet tall.
He can bend steel beams with his bare hands.
He chews bricks in his mouth and spits out pebbles.
He is the black belt karate champion on 15 worlds.
His favorite color is pink.

The 100-foot fat lady that is going to step on me
Is very angry.
I called her tubby and to stop hogging the road.
She didn't take it too well at all.
Goodbye, cruel world...

Sunday Sam is a preacher man.
He wants men and monsters to love each other.
Live in harmony forever and ever.
Amen!

Die, puny human!
Taste my electro disintegrator beam, ha! ha! ha!
(Click! Click!)
Wait a minute...
What's happening?
I did what?
Left the power switch to "on" and the batteries have all discharged?

The skinny alien in high heels came to shop on planet Earth.
For she had heard of Italian leather shoes from far away.
In the Andromeda nebula to be exact.
Fortunately, the shoe store in Milan accepted a solid 5 pound bar of platinum in exchange for each shoe.

Snaggle Face won a male beauty contest on his planet.
Everyone voted and decided he was the handsomest of them all.
Of course to them Cary Grant is repulsive.
And Angelina Joli is a horror!

Elam detected the intruders in his spaceship, but it was too late.
The shadow beings had united with the mutants...
Who had brought along the sentient robo gladiators...
Who happened to have bloodthirsty friends from the dreaded ninth dimension over...
Elem never had a chance.

Berliozzz likes to receive the newspaper every morning.
A delivery boy leaves it on his doorstep, rain or shine.
This morning the paper is late.
Berliozzz is impatient to read his comics and horoscope!

Those are not earrings.
That lady has scary eyes on her ear lobes.
They look left and right with an evil glare.
What she sees with them, I don't know.

It is not a crime to steal a rose for a pretty girl, said the Sensitive One.
Alas, the pain of unrequited love weighs heavily upon my shoulders.
My fair one has no inkling of my profound feelings for her...
Perhaps I should serenade her window like a troubadour?
Send her chocolates and sweet nothings?
O, wonderful beloved...
If you only knew how true I be for thee.

Calvin Claws is a handsome fiend.
All the ladies think he smells terrific.
They say no one dresses better than he.
Women swoon at the thought of meeting him.
Who cares if he will rip you to shreds?
He's a celebrity!

Tentacle Tom likes to squeeze the fruit at the supermarket before he buys them.
Sometimes he squeezes too hard and squashes them.
When that happens, the store clerks get sore.
And Tentacle Tom has to pay for the fruit he squashed!

The lean, mean, Scream Machine is jogging up my street,
Running hard, pumping harder and harder,
It's getting closer...
And closer...
It's just burning up those carbs.

The Peacock Monster leaves behind him a smear of sticky scarlet pooled.
It is a wonder to look at the motifs on its back...
... And its ravenous maw going snap! snap! snap!
It is not quite a bird of paradise, you see, and it can pursue.
Do not linger close to the Peacock Monster...
... Or there will be no more you!

The Monster Who Runs Backwards is not looking where he is going.
So far, he has hit three telephone poles with the back of his head.
He has also knocked down a little old lady carrying a grocery bag.
Maybe you should wear a helmet with a rear-view mirror, stupid monster!

Honorius used to be a regular little boy...
But he was turned into a monster.
This happened when Honorius skipped a day of school, and opened Salomon the magician's black book to read a spell out loud.
You should have stayed in school, Honorius!
Now look at you!

The One-Eyed Weasel cannot be trusted.
He just can't keep a secret.
If you tell him something in confidence...
He'll want so badly to tell everyone what you want to keep mum...
That it will make him go crazy and his head will pop.

Humongus is not a pretty fella.
But at least he doesn't have bad breath.
He doesn't even have a mouth.
Nobody dares make a comment to him about his appearance.
So Humongus thinks he looks like Elvis.

I am yet another alien with spiky boots,
I found them half-price during my wandering pursuits.
I have a strange body which might make you fearful,
you running off scared will just make me cheerful.

The she-monster was tired of scaring people away.
So she underwent cosmetic surgery and had her face redone.
Now she is pretty!
Oh, so pretty!
Don't you agree?

The dancing devil is a monster fleet of feet.
He's going to shuffle to an infernal beat.
He'll do the Mambo real sharp and neat.
He'll mesmerize you so you won't feel the heat.

Balthazar is a wise old monster.
If you have a problem, go talk to him about it.
He is smart. He will give you good advice.
Too bad nobody listens.

With hardly a peep...
The Creep appears from the deep...
It reaches the roadside with a leap...
It does not listen to a beep...
And is hit by a jeep.
Please, don't weep.
It was a Creep.

Chameleon Face entered the general store on Tuesday morning.
He looked everywhere for his favorite daily paper.
Finally he found it.
He bought it and took it home to read the sports section.
Chameleon Face is a happy monster.

Computerized Man...
Is Plugged into the wireless LAN...
He does what he can...
To cool his CPU fan...

Computerized Man...
He has a monitor tan...
On viruses he put a ban...
He's lost on the WAN...

Computerized Man!
Computerized Man!
Computerized Man!
Computerized Man!
Compu --

The Vegetarian Troll likes to prepare his own salad.
He particularly enjoys chopping the greens with his big axe.
It's important to use canola oil and not too much vinegar in the seasoning.
Once in a while, the Vegetarian Troll tops his garden salad with a clementine, just to shake things up.

Frogface likes to stick his tongue out at the other kids.
And go, "Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyaa-aahh!"
That's not a nice thing to do, Frogface.
Nobody likes to be taunted that way.

All right, cosmic bank...
This is a stick-up!
My name is Insectoid and I am public enemy number three
Of the entire milky way!
And working hard to improve my ranking, naturally.

The sinister ventriloquist's dummy is propped in a corner of the room.
Everything is calm and quiet, but it's getting dark...
What is that?!
Did it just move?
It must be my imagination...

The Sensitive Humpback who Sells new Ford Hybrid cars
Looks at you straight in the eyes, and whimpers and pleads.
"No one loves me, no one is buying the cars in my lot," he cries.
"It is a fate worse than death, an agony for the soul..."
He dances a little curse on my head right then and there.
He's pretty good at making you feel guilty that you like the Volkswagen better.

Eustache is creeping around my door.
Eustache slithers forward with a wet, drippy sound.
Eustache is drawing closer!
Lift your feet when you walk, Eustache!
You're dragging your feet!

Buzzer is a giant mosquito without wings.
It likes to bite you.
Then, just like a real mosquito...
It goes to lay 300 eggs.

Last night just before going to bed,
I ate two pieces of chocolate cake,
Some potato chips,
And three glasses of soda pop.
For no reason at all,
I had a bad dream while I slept.

"Is your nose red? If you've been out drinking with the boys again,
I WILL DISINTEGRATE YOU!"

"If you don't take out the garbage NOW,
I WILL DISINTEGRATE YOU!"

"You can't wear a blue shirt with green pants!
Go change your shirt right away, or,
I WILL DISINTEGRATE YOU!"

I'm getting pretty tired of the
Wicked Robot with my Ex-wife's Brain.

I am Beakster and I have a tail feather
If you come too close to admire it
It will tickle your nose
And make you sneeze
I don't like people who sneeze all over my neck

Jack in a cubicle bursting to be free,
Only one thought in his mind, and that is to flee,
The nine to five is not his cup of tea,
And so his mind wanders like a spring on a spree.

I am the The Magician with No Eyes.
Abra Kadabra!
Hocus Pocus!
Elia Kazan!
Hex! Hex! Six! Hut!
Now you have no eyes, but I do!
Ha, ha, ha!

Don't look at me!
I woke up this morning with a bed head...
My hair is sticking out every which way!
I look a fright!

Hi, my name is Plaidosaurus and I swim in the prehistoric oceans looking for fish.
My favorite pastime is to lie still at the bottom of the sea and let my prey come to me.
Many paleontologists argue whether I really had a dull green checkered color, but I can assure you it is so.
My predators are the Tailorosaurus and the Fashionsenseosaurus.

I want to go straight
But I walk to the right
I want to go back
But I walk to the right
I want to go left
But I go around in a circle
My name is Sidestep
And maybe I should sit down...

My name is Flying Fangorr.
I like to swoop, swoop.
I used to shoop, shoop, shoobi-doo-bah and ram-pam-pam a lot.
Now I swish right in before you notice a thing.

This lost soul swooped down during the night...
And crept into your room while you were sleeping...
He stole all of the candy that you kept in a jar.
Now he has a terribly upset tummy,
because he ate too much candy

We are the Committee and we're making a decision,
Bureaucrats obsessed with precision,
Unfortunately we have some division:
Two want to go right and one left without supervision.

One, two, three, cha-cha-cha!
I'm the Mummy and I like to dance.
Four, five, six, cha-cha-cha!
My hips don't swivel as much as I would like...
Cha-cha-cha!
But I love those Latin rhythms,
cha-cha-cha!
Would you like to dance with me?

I am not pleased with my tailor, said Chuckenstein.
My new pants ride up where they shouldn't,
the bottom of the pants have been sewn all wrong,
and one pant leg is higher than the other.
Finally, to my utter anguish,
my coat is not the exact same color as my pants
when I stand in the daylight.
I am dressed shabbily, despite the high price I paid!
I must hide from humanity!
Seek the darkness!
Curses on my tailor!

To Beak, or not to Beak, that is the question!
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to flutter
The slings and arrows of outraged bloggers,
Or to take flight in view of a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to be twittered;
Or indexed: perchance archived by the Wayback...

I am an evil space pirate glaring from the deck,
The space cannons of my ship are of the latest high tech,
My hardened crew are the worst of the dreck,
We plunder and pillage and leave behind only a wreck,
Yo ho ho, my name is Captain No-nekk!

Candlehead, Candlehead,
Bring some light close to my bed,
Because darkness fills my weary heart with dread,
and your being exudes brightness instead.

He plays on street corners...
the "Godfather" theme,
or "Les feuilles mortes".
Sings a half-tone off key...
on Lennon's "Imagine",
like a wounded goat.
Rats scurry away,
as he preys on tourists,
and people with no taste.
The Phantom of the Busk is here!
For your spare change!

Percival is a pessimistic bird, with a very bad temper to bet.
When his glass is half empty, he will fret and fret.
When his glass is completely empty, he becomes quite a threat!
Everyone, get out of his way, he is quite upset!

Hello, I am Sal the Space Tour Guide and BOY!
Do I have a deal for you!
A one-day saucer ride to the Alpha Centauri galaxy, dinner and supper included, there's even a supernova in progress there, it's awesome!
How would you like to see that? You bet you would!
How much for the tour? A bargain! Only sixteen anti-matter coins.
What? Come again?
You don't know what an anti-matter coin is?
Hey VINNIE! I thought you said they had anti-matter coins on this planet, you dunce!

Winston is an ornery fellow who always carries a grudge.
He used to have friends, but one by one...
For a little this or a little that...
Winston found them each in turn as guilty to his eyes as murder to the judge.
And so Winston does not forget, and does not forgive,
for as long as he will live.

I am the Space Jester, trying to make you laugh.
If you are glum I'll use every trick I have to get a snicker.
Or a grin, a giggle or at the very least a smirk.
In the name of humor, I will refuse to leave if your mood is gloomy.
And when you are cheerful again, I will hand you my bill.
Then we can start all over again.

I'm Ooglah and I really like my new jumpsuit.
It's stretchy like spandex but it breathes well, unlike polyester which would make me sweat a lot.
It's anti-stain too, and so comfortable, I can even sleep in it like pajamas.
My jumpsuit is eggshell color, and it's very robust:
I can go on a ten-year space expedition and it will never wear out.
Now that's a jumpsuit.

I am Kroko the Conqueror! Kroko the Conqueror!
Some think me subhuman,
but I have 500 crewmen
with their fingers on the trigger
of each ray gun in my flying saucer!

I am the Boring Bronze Statue That Just Came To Life,
bad weather and pigeons were my daily strife.
Left arm half-raised in a solemn wave,
a silly gesture implying I was somehow brave.
Graffiti covers the name on my plaque,
and running green rust stains tarnish my back.
Nothing to hold me still any longer,
the urge to leave has kept getting stronger.
Suddenly aware now of the moist ground beneath my feet,
I am off to find a new existence sweet.

Today is our birthday, already monsteraday.com has given birth to ONE HUNDRED MONSTERS! That's a veritable army of fearsome grotesques, malevolent miscreations, inhuman behemoths, leering hellions, lumbering leviathans and slobbering beasties!

And more are on the way, that's a promise!

Thank you for clicking us and stay tuned for the next one hundred and beyond!

I am a Publicsectorosaurus and my species relies on very old statistics to make a committee decision.
I am a herbivore. If food becomes too scarce, I call in to protest to my union.
If a predator comes too close to my flock, I call in sick with a burnout.
My species has been around for what seems to be millions of years.

They say the word "luck" comes from the name "Lucifer".
Therefore I hope I have a lot of luck battling my next adversary!
I am the Boxing Devil,
and I float like a vulture and sting like a vampire bat.

I am Percy of the Bat People, but I have no wings.
Some spacemen nicknamed us the Bat People and it stuck.
Now everyone calls us Bat People even though we have nothing in common with them.
It's mean to call someone names.

My name is Calimarx and I'm having a little trouble with my bankers.
A fine bunch of businessmen they are.
I went down this morning to open an account and they turned me down.
I wanted to open a charge account.

I am Picassoverine, the cubist nightmare.
I slice, I dice, my arm is over here and over there.
I am synthetic rather than analytic but if you disagree...
Picture yourself with three belly buttons.

Happy Mother's Day!
Joyeuse Fête des Mères!
Feliz Dia de las Madres!
Boldog Anyák napja!

My name is Spider Sal and I'm learning how to tap dance.
Tappety taptap.
Unfortunately, I have one foot bigger than the others so I need to buy three pairs of tap dancing shoes!
That's pretty expensive but I think it's worth it.

I am Zenzak, the powerful super-brain of the planet Zakzeem in the Zonzak galaxy!
My wife is Zernzak, my two kids are Zikma and Zekna.
Zikma is my teenage daughter who is dating Zenzook.
Zekna is my boy who wants to be a fireman when he grows up, like his uncle Zekenor.
Will you remember all that?

Hello, my name is Pip.
And my name is Pop.
We're the result of a genetic experiment involving unshielded cell phones, large doses of aspartame, sucralose, and pesticide residues.
Our favorite food is liver.
Have a nice day.

Hello, my name is John Smith but everyone calls me Butterfingers.
That's ever since I knocked over a strawberry syrup dispenser at the International House of Pancakes.
Everyone was sprayed, there were sticky shards of glass everywhere.
It took a special machine to clean up that mess.
I hope my friends will let me live it down.

I am Big Hands, the dragon with a small head.
I think I am cute.
Do you think I am pretty too?
You don't?
Let me think about my options right now.

I am Gra-Tox, a spy from Galaxy Alpha-Centauri, disguised as a human!
I am here to steal all of your Web 2.0 secrets so my civilization can catch up with this ultimate weapon of mass control.
Unfortunately, I cannot log on with the mouse and create a new profile.
I have two left hands and it's a right-handed mouse!
Curses, back to my saucer I go!

Ah-wooo! My name is Crooner Garou, pussycats!
I howl, huff, puff, be-bop and scat!
When it's the full moon I go prowl at the laundromat!
And practice all the cool jazz songs in my act!

I am the Seussosaurus, and I love to eat purple grass.
I breathe ozone, argon and other rare gas.
I drink bubbling crude oil with a straw in a glass.
My constitution is world class.
Too bad I will become extinct soon because of my kind I am the last.

My name is Cool Ed.
My cousin is the Kool-Aid Man™.
I like to say "Oh, yeah!" too.
It’s not easy being a mascot.

Hello, my name is Crabby Sue.
My no-good husband left for the grocery store in the family car three hours ago.
All he needed to get was one quart of milk.
I'm going to tell that man my piece of mind.

My name is Brakk the Ape King.
I lost my crossword puzzle, did you see it?
And what is a 15 letter word for "puzzlement"?
My best friend is Kree-gah, the Ape Woman.

My name is Bad Vogum.
I like to take a nap right before dawn and awake to the glittering stars in the night sky.
The full moon inspires me during my nightly rounds.
I will be visiting you soon...

My name is Pinkandorangeosaurus.
I like to shop for shoes.
I only date men taller than Bogster.
Paris Hilton is my idol.

My name is Karmina Byrnes.
I like to collect the rent from my tenants.
My hobby is to bleed everyone I know dry.
My best friend is Fritz, my banker in Switzerland.

My name is Hector.
I like to take long baths.
My hobbies are scuba diving and deep sea treasure hunting.
My favorite salad dressing is Thousand Islands.

My name is Irving.
I like to visit my grandmother on Sundays.
My hobby is stamp collecting.
My best friend is the mailman who brings me postcards from around the world with nice stamps.